Not because I think he’s hot or anything, but because I want to semi-redecorate my room. People have been popping up at my house more and more, and I’m not one to be left unprepared.
I start working on Tuesday, and while this isnt the best time to undertake a project like this because I’m under the weather, its the only time. I doubt I’ll have the willpower or the energy to do it after 8 hour workdays + commute.
Anyways, my room has light, powder blue walls, hardwood floor, which for the time being has a red IKEA carpet covering it. I have red curtains to match, along with a red and black bed set. I have three dressers, two of which I plan to paint black. The other one is already black lol. Elements like my Batman picture and my Audrey Hepburn picture are elements I’d like to keep as well.
After that, I’m kinda clueless as to what to do next. I don’t have a ton of space to work with. I need a style that will incorporate everything I already own, I’m not spending money on this (at least not yet). I want it to be cohesive. Which is hard because I want it to be classy and classic but artsy, and polished but inviting. Another thing too is I need it to be functional. I want my tv, sound system, and video game systems to be all in the same area and at least have the sound system accessible from my bed cuz I’m lazy, and my jewelry,makeup, and mirror to be all in the same area, with good lighting. This is hard to achieve because I don’t have a ceiling light or surface space for lamps… Lastly, I have two windows, one being blocked by one of the dressers, I would like to be able to use that window as it gets hotter. I could turn the dresser so it cuts across the room but it’ll be doing just that, cutting across the room. I don’t know what I’ll end up doing. But I guess I could start by cleaning my room and browsing HGTV.com for ideas.
Sitting up late just appreciating the simple perfection of this song:
…Reach into your train of thought
Try to find something new
What worked so well for you before,
For me it just won’t do…
Love Me In A Special Way
What more can I say,
Love me now.
(Source: envyloft)
This past semester has showed me a lot about who I am, what I am perceived as, and what is desired of me, in terms of relationships and sexuality. I haven’t been necessarily shocked, more so just reawakened to what is going on around me.
First off, who I am: A female, a (generally) kind individual with the full ability to love and care, even when these sentiments are not reciprocated, or even well-deserved. Not overtly sexual, but human enough. I don’t casual date or take sex lightly. My Christian beliefs, self-respect, and self-love come before anything else.
Now, what I am perceived as: Smart, insightful, thoughtful, perceptive, a leader, loving with a big heart, very caring, generous, strong, no-nonsense, (and gangster? lol). Beautiful/sexy/well-endowed/etc.
Finally, what is desired of me: Serving as a body who can fulfill sexual fantasies and can be used as a tool for personal gain in miscellaneous exploits; to be a female who would be great as a on-call friend with benefits.
The vast majority of my friends/people I hang around are male. Most of them have at one point, if not still, have taken an interest in me. A few people would jump and say well, in that case they are not your friends. Okay, point taken. But let me consider other things. Why is it that almost every guy I’ve encountered only wants me sexually. Its never been, “I like you for you.” Only “I like you cuz look at those lips/tits/ass/thighs/insertrandombodyparthere.”
Its not that I need to hang around a new crowd. I’ve tried that. I’ve lived in 3 different places over the past 2-3 years, each time changing up my scene completely. Its not how I dress or carry myself. No I don’t wear revealing clothing. No, I don’t flirt. I’m actually very reserved when it comes to dealing with guys in that way. I’m not gullible either. The game that these guys try to lay down gets stopped at the front door every time. I’ve been single for years because I’ve never met a guy who was decent enough to recognize me as a person, a real person, and not just a real life replica of a blow up doll with all soft parts and air for brains.
I understand that yes some guys are just assholes and that’s just life. That’s cool. But why is it pretty much every guy I know… or have met… or been acquainted with… from all types of life, different colors, creeds, and breeds. Why is it that these guys think that they’re gonna pocket me as some quick fix they can call up at 3am. What makes it okay to disregard the fact that I am a woman, with feelings and morals and respect for myself. What makes them think that all that I’ll do away with just to have the privilege of letting their dick touch either set of my lips.
I guess what I am trying to say is, when does it become a valid argument that I am in fact a human being, who would like to be loved, instead of love to be fucked.
(Source: envyloft)
I scored an internship. A paid one. With free travel. Which means, I get to chill with my NYC friends whenever I feel like it all summer, for free. And by the end of the summer I’ll have money for my car. Plus its like gold leaf frosting on my resume. I won’t say the company, but its one that’s recognized nationally and globally. I’ll be helping to manage a 10 billion dollar budget. Best part is, I didn’t really do any legwork to get the job. Well that’s if you don’t count the long ass online application, the 20 pages thick paper application, and the interview I had to travel to the city for. Honestly, the interview was the easiest out of the three. I hopped on the train, jetted out to Midtown, aced my interview like a boss (when the interviewer wants you to teach THEM shit, you’re good to go), did a little shopping, grabbed a little food, and breezed back home just in time for the rest of my classes that day. I’m ready for jetsetter life lol.
(Source: envyloft)
